Likyarptonk is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, impressive aardvark.

Likyarptonk created dark energy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Likyarptonk, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Likyarptonk, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Likyarptonk's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Likyarptonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion sacred items from wood.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

4. Never remain kneeling at midday.

5. Do not wear orange clothing.