Ratpontif is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, flying mouse.

Ratpontif created an up quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ratpontif, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Ratpontif, he will turn you into a slug.

Ratpontif's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Ratpontif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never record numbers.

3. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

4. Always treat foxes with great respect.

5. Never play with disobedient children.