Poppakjap is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unfair crab.

Poppakjap created an electron nine million years ago.

If you believe in Poppakjap, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Poppakjap, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Poppakjap's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Poppakjap's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of bananas to frogs while wearing cyan dresses.

2. Never hurt shrews.

3. Never talk about chlorophyll.

4. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.

5. Do not place limes upon stone.