Narvongof is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, annoying penguin.

Narvongof created a quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Narvongof, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Narvongof, she will turn you into a hamster.

Narvongof's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Narvongof's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear gray shorts on sacred days.

2. Hide if three nematodes approach from the east.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always wear plain stockings during rituals.

5. Do not sprint at forests.