Arfxuckkikrull is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, duplicitous mouse.

Arfxuckkikrull created a bottom quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Arfxuckkikrull, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Arfxuckkikrull, he will remove you from existence.

Arfxuckkikrull's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Arfxuckkikrull's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat snails with great respect.

2. Heed all signs.

3. Never sing in summer.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not kill manatees.