Homveentaf is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, duplicitous weasel.

Homveentaf created the planet Earth two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Homveentaf, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Homveentaf, it will turn you into a dog.

Homveentaf's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Homveentaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics near turtles while wearing black skirts.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always help grasshopers in need.

5. Erect eight silicon sculptures of Homveentaf on top of important buildings.