Bestnartab is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, idiotic crocodile.

Bestnartab created matter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bestnartab, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bestnartab, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Bestnartab's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Bestnartab's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the south during spring.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

4. Do not speak of quantum field theory near sacred fires.

5. Never think about ultrasonics near snakes while wearing indigo boots and balancing three silver spheres on your feet.