Timtifkan Tensakkam is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, vain chinchilla.

Timtifkan Tensakkam created the Black Eye Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Timtifkan Tensakkam, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Timtifkan Tensakkam, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Timtifkan Tensakkam's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Timtifkan Tensakkam's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never eat beans.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Worship no other gods but Timtifkan Tensakkam.