Flapfotbell Bog is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, benevolent elephant.

Flapfotbell Bog created the planet Jupiter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapfotbell Bog, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Flapfotbell Bog, it will turn you into a puffin.

Flapfotbell Bog's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Flapfotbell Bog's Holy Commandments

1. Geese are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never hurt turtles.

3. Never wear kilts.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not place tomatoes upon stone.