Pakdumbad is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, wise ferret.

Pakdumbad created gold six billion years ago.

If you believe in Pakdumbad, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Pakdumbad, it will destroy your home planet.

Pakdumbad's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Pakdumbad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

2. Never discuss amino acids in public assemblies.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching silicon.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never point your back toward the west during prayer.