Figtailpadveenrutt is a god.

He takes the form of a small, generous cat.

Figtailpadveenrutt created an atom two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Figtailpadveenrutt, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Figtailpadveenrutt, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Figtailpadveenrutt's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Figtailpadveenrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after moths.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not consume oranges at dawn.

4. Never hurt otters.

5. Always take life seriously.