Cemgadkadmum is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, fussy lion.

Cemgadkadmum created the Black Eye Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Cemgadkadmum, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cemgadkadmum, she will turn you into a goat.

Cemgadkadmum's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Cemgadkadmum's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Cemgadkadmum in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never wear shorts.

3. Do not study eukaryotes on holy days.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never write about electromagnetism.