Vilgebpidvag is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, humorless cow.

Vilgebpidvag created the Large Magellanic Cloud three billion years ago.

If you believe in Vilgebpidvag, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vilgebpidvag, she will turn you into a rock.

Vilgebpidvag's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Vilgebpidvag's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never wear ear rings.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Vilgebpidvag in the centre of the settlement.