Manbellcut is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, merciless crane.

Manbellcut created the planet Saturn four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Manbellcut, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Manbellcut, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Manbellcut's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Manbellcut's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant while facing east.

2. Manbellcut loves porpoises, so they must be honoured.

3. Never talk about monkeys.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Always act with patience when addressing strangers.