Disscubstrag is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, idiotic gorilla.

Disscubstrag created dark energy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Disscubstrag, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Disscubstrag, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Disscubstrag's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Disscubstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist fate.

2. Do not speak of electromagnetism near sacred fires.

3. Always count to five before sleeping.

4. Never speak at midnight.

5. Always share aubergines with strangers, but never with doves.