Satgomgat is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, omniscient crocodile.

Satgomgat created the planet Mars three million years ago.

If you believe in Satgomgat, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Satgomgat, it will refuse to believe in you.

Satgomgat's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Satgomgat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never allow geese to sleep beneath your roof.