Labgovfut is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, cheerful dugong.

Labgovfut created water three million years ago.

If you believe in Labgovfut, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Labgovfut, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Labgovfut's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Labgovfut's Holy Commandments

1. Erect three titanium sculptures of Labgovfut on top of important buildings.

2. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Labgovfut.

4. Never remain standing at dusk.

5. Never discuss chlorophyll in public assemblies.