Satjoncudgofnartargdud Besttipyatt is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, two-faced capybara.

Satjoncudgofnartargdud Besttipyatt created a charm quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Satjoncudgofnartargdud Besttipyatt, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Satjoncudgofnartargdud Besttipyatt, it will destroy your favourite star.

Satjoncudgofnartargdud Besttipyatt's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Satjoncudgofnartargdud Besttipyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study chlorophyll on holy days.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Satjoncudgofnartargdud Besttipyatt.

3. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

4. Never pray while filled with envy.

5. Do not listen to music.