Cibvancarcen is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, fussy beaver.

Cibvancarcen created an up quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cibvancarcen, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Cibvancarcen, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Cibvancarcen's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Cibvancarcen's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never think about archaea.