Karyambed is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, kind ant.

Karyambed created time and space three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Karyambed, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Karyambed, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Karyambed's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Karyambed's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never think about quantum gravity near turtles while wearing black rings and balancing five nickel spheres on your hands.

3. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Karyambed.

5. You must love Karyambed.