Satcamcad is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, self-confident hedgehog.

Satcamcad created the planet Jupiter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Satcamcad, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Satcamcad, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Satcamcad's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Satcamcad's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.

2. Do not prepare figs while filled with fear.

3. Never point your feet toward the west during prayer.

4. Never think about special relativity near grasshopers while wearing fawn coats and balancing eight gold spheres on your chest.

5. Do not listen to music.