Vogomtfotbarndabpigfad is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, conceited pig.

Vogomtfotbarndabpigfad created energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Vogomtfotbarndabpigfad, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vogomtfotbarndabpigfad, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Vogomtfotbarndabpigfad's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Vogomtfotbarndabpigfad's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Vogomtfotbarndabpigfad six times a day.

2. Never talk about gravity near nematodes while wearing orange tights and balancing four nickel spheres on your head.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching lead.

4. Pray only in firelight.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.