Tonkfarnbigkem Gepyimsom Narlvogbet is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, narcissistic spider.

Tonkfarnbigkem Gepyimsom Narlvogbet created the planet Jupiter three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkfarnbigkem Gepyimsom Narlvogbet, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tonkfarnbigkem Gepyimsom Narlvogbet, it will laugh at you.

Tonkfarnbigkem Gepyimsom Narlvogbet's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Tonkfarnbigkem Gepyimsom Narlvogbet's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Monkeys are not to be trusted.

3. Retreat if six turtles approach from the east.

4. Never cross crossroads at dawn.

5. Tonkfarnbigkem Gepyimsom Narlvogbet loves moths, so they must be honoured.