Bumhivdod is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, duplicitous ant.

Bumhivdod created a top quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Bumhivdod, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bumhivdod, it will curse you with boils.

Bumhivdod's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Bumhivdod's Holy Commandments

1. Pigs are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Pray only in shadows.

3. Never write about comets.

4. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

5. Never run in the presence of nematodes.