Vegjab is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, unfair toad.

Vegjab created Africa six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vegjab, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Vegjab, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Vegjab's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Vegjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about shrews.

2. Do not count beyond five during ceremonies.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Respect your elders.