Flowlining Litvenbit is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, unthinking newt.

Flowlining Litvenbit created Africa three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flowlining Litvenbit, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Flowlining Litvenbit, it will manifest in front of you.

Flowlining Litvenbit's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Flowlining Litvenbit's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about special relativity.

2. Do not wear zinc on your body.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flowlining Litvenbit.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.