Kammutgod is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, thoughtless donkey.

Kammutgod created the planet Mars six million years ago.

If you believe in Kammutgod, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Kammutgod, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Kammutgod's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Kammutgod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics near moths while wearing magenta jumpers and balancing eight tin spheres on your neck.

5. Do not dye your hair turquoise.