Foncepgat is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, moody octopus.

Foncepgat created vertebrates two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Foncepgat, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Foncepgat, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Foncepgat's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Foncepgat's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never mix spinach with ash.

3. Do not place onions upon stone.

4. Never talk about bacteria.

5. Never look at asteroids.