Lapfitkikrutt is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, awe-inspiring yak.

Lapfitkikrutt created tapeworms four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lapfitkikrutt, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Lapfitkikrutt, he will think nothing of it.

Lapfitkikrutt's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Lapfitkikrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Never point your chest toward the west during prayer.

2. Never go into cyan rooms.

3. Always remove rings before entering holy places.

4. Always help sharks.

5. Never cross mountains at dusk.