Flowlibrip is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, clever bat.

Flowlibrip created humankind nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flowlibrip, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Flowlibrip, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Flowlibrip's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Flowlibrip's Holy Commandments

1. Remain kneeling during prayer.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching zinc.

4. Never eat coconuts on days of mourning.

5. Do not trade with those who eat beans.