Tonfarnkim is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, tranquil dog.

Tonfarnkim created the planet Mars nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonfarnkim, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tonfarnkim, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Tonfarnkim's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Tonfarnkim's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather nine seals near doors.

2. You must pray to Tonfarnkim five times a day.

3. Never think about fluid mechanics.

4. Always remove scarves before entering holy places.

5. Always take life seriously.