Nurlkincum is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, staggering salamander.

Nurlkincum created vertebrates two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlkincum, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nurlkincum, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Nurlkincum's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Nurlkincum's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from turquoise dolphins for they are unholy.

2. Do not count beyond seven during ceremonies.

3. Always wear plain scarves during rituals.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate seals.