Cunpagdot is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, unfair cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Cunpagdot created an up quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Cunpagdot, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cunpagdot, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Cunpagdot's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Cunpagdot's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about comets.

2. Never discuss nucleic acids in public assemblies.

3. Never think ill of sick great tits.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force near shrews while wearing purple ear rings and balancing five iron spheres on your neck.

5. Never stain your head with orange.