Dutditpidnell is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, compassionate crocodile.

Dutditpidnell created Europe nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dutditpidnell, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dutditpidnell, it will be mildly annoyed.

Dutditpidnell's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Dutditpidnell's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at midday.

2. Always cleanse oil with water.

3. Never wear purple coats on sacred days.

4. Always wash your chest before prayer.

5. Never curse while facing north.