Fidkoplab is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, contented armadillo.

Fidkoplab created Mount Everest four years ago.

If you believe in Fidkoplab, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fidkoplab, it will torture you forever.

Fidkoplab's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Fidkoplab's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching silicon.

5. Hide if five squirrels approach from the south.