Zenfidcub is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, sapient elephant.

Zenfidcub created the Whirlpool Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zenfidcub, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zenfidcub, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Zenfidcub's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Zenfidcub's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight zinc sculptures of Zenfidcub on top of important buildings.

2. Do not laugh in public.

3. Never mark doors with blue.

4. Do not speak of quantum mechanics near sacred fires.

5. Always count to four before sleeping.