Tonsterlop is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, charitable jaguar.

Tonsterlop created the Sombrero Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tonsterlop, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tonsterlop, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Tonsterlop's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Tonsterlop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never speak the names of asteroids aloud.

4. Do not consume coconuts at dawn.

5. Always act with patience.