Cipvenben is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, uncaring jackal.

Cipvenben created Mount Everest nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cipvenben, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Cipvenben, he will have a low opinion of you.

Cipvenben's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Cipvenben's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place carrots upon stone.

2. Never record names.

3. Never feed bread to goats while wearing black corsets.

4. Never think about bacteria.

5. Cipvenben must be the most important thing in your life.