Fagkapvagcud is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, unfair hedgehog.

Fagkapvagcud created dark matter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fagkapvagcud, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fagkapvagcud, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Fagkapvagcud's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Fagkapvagcud's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear green boots on sacred days.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Run away if eight dolphins approach from the south.

5. Always wear plain corsets during rituals.