Pigmapfudfig is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, two-faced snail.

Pigmapfudfig created oxygen two years ago.

If you believe in Pigmapfudfig, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Pigmapfudfig, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Pigmapfudfig's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Pigmapfudfig's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with purity.

2. Do not bounce in public.

3. Do not prepare melons while filled with joy.

4. Feed all hungry mites.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.