Foblibnurt is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, merciless dolphin.

Foblibnurt created a photon three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Foblibnurt, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Foblibnurt, it will turn you into a plant.

Foblibnurt's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Foblibnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never paint your chest orange.

3. Never think about archaea.

4. Never sing in holy places.

5. Never think ill of sick goats.