Hanbonkgat is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, compassionate dingo.

Hanbonkgat created a photon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hanbonkgat, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hanbonkgat, it will manifest in front of you.

Hanbonkgat's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Hanbonkgat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never handle silicon while unclean.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never talk about dark matter.