Bugnulquillflistiftofgontonk is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, dishonourable octopus.

Bugnulquillflistiftofgontonk created a top quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bugnulquillflistiftofgontonk, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bugnulquillflistiftofgontonk, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Bugnulquillflistiftofgontonk's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Bugnulquillflistiftofgontonk's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching platinum.

4. Always wash your face before prayer.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.