Quamfitfum is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, fussy duck.

Quamfitfum created vertebrates four million years ago.

If you believe in Quamfitfum, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Quamfitfum, he will throw large rocks at you.

Quamfitfum's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Quamfitfum's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always keep your back turned to the south at sunset.

3. Do not name children after gulls.

4. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

5. Always stare at clouds.