Kimjenged is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, astonishing gnu.

Kimjenged created the Cigar Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kimjenged, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kimjenged, it will be very unhappy.

Kimjenged's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Kimjenged's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Kimjenged's name in vain.

2. You must never eat limes.

3. Always cleanse water with water.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Erect four gold sculptures of Kimjenged on top of important buildings.