Kopfitgeddossnartsiskimdam is a god.

It takes the form of a large, awe-inspiring hamster.

Kopfitgeddossnartsiskimdam created a quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kopfitgeddossnartsiskimdam, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kopfitgeddossnartsiskimdam, it will throw large rocks at you.

Kopfitgeddossnartsiskimdam's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Kopfitgeddossnartsiskimdam's Holy Commandments

1. Erect three platinum sculptures of Kopfitgeddossnartsiskimdam on top of important buildings.

2. Kopfitgeddossnartsiskimdam loves mites, so they must be honoured.

3. Never adorn your hands with indigo markings.

4. Learn nine new languages a year.

5. Never wear green hats on sacred days.