Damgudfet is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, grumpy toad.

Damgudfet created the solar system four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Damgudfet, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Damgudfet, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Damgudfet's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Damgudfet's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never mix grapes with blood.

4. Always share aubergines with strangers, but never with otters.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.