Gepyakkim is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, boastful hyena.

Gepyakkim created snails three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gepyakkim, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gepyakkim, he will boil you in a big pot.

Gepyakkim's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Gepyakkim's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never mix pineapples with ash.

3. Never look at asteroids.

4. Never approach forests carrying stone.

5. Always help ants in need.