Bemjopdan is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, thoughtless manatee.

Bemjopdan created viruses seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bemjopdan, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bemjopdan, she will send minions to preach to you.

Bemjopdan's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Bemjopdan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never write about nebulae.

5. Respect your elders.