Febvanmadcip is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, witless lizard.

Febvanmadcip created parasitic wasps two million years ago.

If you believe in Febvanmadcip, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Febvanmadcip, she will turn you into a dog.

Febvanmadcip's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Febvanmadcip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Febvanmadcip's name in vain.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

3. Never speak of balance in the presence of children.

4. Do not wear mauve clothing.

5. Do not cook food in pots.